A Few Reasons I Hate Deer Hunting

Mama took this

I recently worked for my dad at the butcher shop (aka the Dark Farm) during the opening of the deer hunt here in Utah. I always knew I hated the deer hunt as a child, but chalked it up to the child labor laws I was breaking. However, after four days of observation as a grown man, I realized five reasons I actually hate the deer hunt.

1. Many hunters are real true dumb. Me: "What name am I putting this deer under?" 

Customer: "I don't know." 

Me: "You don't know whose deer this is?" 

Customer: "Well a lot of us were there." 

Me: "......"

2. Size actually doesn't matter. 

Whether it has two points or 15 points, it's still a dead deer. Gathering with your fellow hunters to discuss the enormity of your horns is thinly-veiled discussion of your cocks. Not to mention, without fail, hunters who bring in deer with a "smaller rack" apologize for their misfortune. The God damn deer is dead and now you're going to apologize for its small horns? You suck as a world citizen.

3. The poor planning. 

Customer: "What's the processing time?"

Me: "About ten days to two weeks."

Customer: "Woah that's not going to work! I can't do it! I've got to be back in California in two days."

Me: "We can do a rush job. How many deer do you have?"

Customer: "Well we haven't shot one yet."

Me: "....."

4. The lack of actual skill.

Me: "You didn't gut the deer after you shot it?"

Customer: "I thought that was something you took care of."

Me (internally): "The fact you were allowed to roam in the woods with a loaded firearm astounds me."

5. Hunting to say you've hunted. 

Me: "Here's how we normally cut a deer (explanation). Does that sound ok or do you have something specific in mind?"

Customer: "Oh I'm not going to really eat it. You could throw it away if you want. I just want the cape (head and hide) Haha!" (No shit, they actually laughed.)

It's a living breathing creature for hell's sakes! Or it was. If you're going to hunt, at least participate in the intended purpose: food. If you need something to do on a weekend, or are looking for ways to solidify your manliness, take up street racing or whatever it is manly men do these days. Don't satisfy your insecurity or boredom by killing an animal you're not even going to eat.

So my hatred of this opening weekend goes much deeper than the unholy hours I worked as a kid. My grievances boil down to this one problem, the deer hunters who show no respect for the life they ended. I'm aware it's a deer and not a small child, but it's still something that died at your hands. If you're going to hunt: learn how, make the time, quit making it about your cock, and at least eat it. Although, I don't know why anyone would; wild game meat smells and tastes like sour milk. One of many reasons I myself don't hunt. 

The Spirituality Coin

I'm slowly trying to wean myself off Facebook and plan to stay off for a while; way too much time was wasted on it. Too many selfies, political posts, and cat memes. And yes I'm aware of the irony that I posted a link to this blog on Facebook - the key word in the last couple sentences was wean. I'll get back on, but I needed time to do something different. So Facebook has been replaced by more reading. Sadly, I haven't done much in the past few years. It makes me feel dirty admitting that. Reading (and the subsequent thinking it inspires) have been my passion since I was a little weirdo.

Most recently, I've been reading a series of poems by the Buddhist philosopher Tai Sheridan, Ph.D. They're called Buddha in Blue Jeans and I highly recommend them - especially since they're free on Amazon Prime. Buddhism speaks to me for several reasons. The Buddhist view of and relationship with death fascinate me. Primarily though, I love that Buddhism fits within any other belief system. You can be a Mormon Buddhist or Jewish Buddhist. Buddhism is a way of thinking that leaves the specifics up to the believer, but keeps one focused on the core elements of any belief system that actually matter. This concept got me thinking about the specifics versus the core of spirituality. 

I think we all know the douchebags in any religion are the ones that forget the core that binds us all, and get caught up in the specifics that separate us. Whether you're Mormon, Catholic, Jewish, Hindu, Muslim, or follow any other philosophy, you can still be an asshole. Or you can be a nice person in any of those faiths as well. The choice is up to the individual what they make of their spirituality or faith. Just as life and death are two sides of the same coin, I think spirituality has two sides - wisdom and self-righteousness. 

Douchebaggery arises when a person has landed self-righteous side up on the faith coin. Self-righteous people believe they have the answers that no one else has figured out yet. Self-righteous people aren't able to let others be happy another way. I think it's because they've convinced themselves the specifics will achieve absolution, but deep down they know it isn't true. I think they react by becoming afraid of things that stand outside their specifics, because it exposes the specifics for the absurdities they are. Human beings are inventive and there are endless ways to believe what ordinances/paperwork you need, who you should or should not love, what is a sin and what isn't, and which scriptures you should adhere to.

On the other side of the faith coin exists the wise. A wise person believes no one has all the answers but that the life-long pursuit of answers matters. A wise person is comfortable letting others find their own path, enjoy their own happiness, and make their own mistakes. I think it's because they understand that some of the specifics are confusing, but don't have to matter if we all live to the core of our spirituality. I think they know loving each other is most important and can discern which specifics only distract from that.  

I don't think I'm either and also think I'm both. Lord knows I'm guilty of being the occasional douche nozzle. Just like the life/death coin, we can't have wisdom without occasionally facing our own self-righteousness. We can only hope to recognize when we're lying self-righteous side up and have the courage to flip the coin. In the end, a wise person is one who accepts a level of uncertainty so they can focus on the human bond - and a self-righteous person invents their own certainty to separate themselves from humanity.